Losing Your Memory - Fabian x Narcissa [SPOILER ALERT]

[SPOILERS ARE DOWN HERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Wrote this to reward myself. FINISHED MY SENIOR PROJECT WITH A 92. Feels party. Written in Cissa's POV; ; inspired by https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xl8mrWfpkrY ]

I guess it really was the fault of mine, those few months ago.. I guess it was the fault of mine.

My eyes fell upon the grave of Fabian Prewett once again. It was a warm night in July, the stars twinkled, and I looked down at myself. I was a complete and utter monstrosity without him, and I could never fix myself. He changed me, he gave me a reason to break free from the century-long conformities that I had been forced to abide by.

I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before.. I don’t know why I never thought of it. I don’t know why I didn’t notice the changes, I didn’t notice how badly I needed him.. and I would always need him. The breeze had started to blow, softly, barely there.. and I felt him. I wondered if he could feel my skin.. I wondered if he knew just how much I missed him, and I wondered, most of all, if he knew that I was..

My eyes kept watch on his grave.. and I could’ve sworn I heard his voice. My hallucinations were getting worse, and my mind was leaving me. My mind was playing horrible tricks on me, like it wanted me to die as well. There were countless times where I saw him on the couch, sitting on my bed, standing outside my door, with that same mocking condescending smirk on his face.


It’s times like these where I wish I could remember our moments together. When you don't see a person for a long while, they just fade from your mind, one memory at a time.. and I wish I could stop it from happening. I wish I could remember our conversations, our confessions of love, and our kisses.. every single one.

I miss you every single day that passes by, Fabian. I wish I hadn't of been so cold and cruel. I wish I could've known what little time I had with you. I wish I could tell you just how much my heart aches for you, how much I want to hold your hand again, and how much I wish that I hadn't of been such a bitch to you before.

So, this is me saying that I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened to you, I'm sorry for not realizing that I loved you sooner. I'm sorry that I let this happen.. and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this before.